Logline Critique Session

I apologize that it took me longer to get this set up than I’d hoped, but I ran into a bit of a quandary regarding time zones!  Specifically, the first thirteen entries I received were technically before the submission window was open, but knowing how much confusion can be caused by daylight savings time, I decided not to disqualify everyone who was an hour early.  (And if I did, I wouldn’t have gotten up to thirteen entries!)  But . . .  since I also didn’t want to penalize anyone who did get it right and waited till 9:00 MST, it turned out to be more complicated than I’d planned.

In the end I considered all the submissions that came in between 8:00 and 5:00 MST (most of them came in the first couple of hours), and since I couldn’t do first come-first served and still be fair to those who figured out the Great Time Zone Puzzle, I sorted the entries by category and took the same percentage of each, based on how many I received in each category. So we have five Adult entries, six YA entries, and two MG entries.

As I’d said that each qualifying submission needed to be a legitimate logline, I gave preference to those who not only followed the submission rules but who at least included most of the basic logline elements.  Although I certainly understand that some people may have just discovered Baker’s Dozen and not had a chance to follow the critique sessions at MSFV or to do a lot of research on loglines, if you spend just half an hour reviewing the information readily available on that site you’ll know what should be in a logline — and what shouldn’t! 😉

And speaking of rules, please follow the same guidelines for critiquing as you would at MSFV, and if your entry is posted here try to critique a minimum of five other loglines.  Also, because of the time crunch for the Adult authors (since the Baker’s Dozen submissions for those entries are this coming week), please comment on those loglines first.  To make that a little easier, I made those entries the first five.  Entries six through eleven are our YA loglines, and the last two are MG.  Since their submissions in the auction will be the following week, we have a little more time to get to the YA and MG ones, and I will keep this open for comments all week.

Thank you to everyone for participating! 🙂

More on Writing Loglines and How They Can Be Useful

Last year I did a blog post about contests and about composing pitches or ‘loglines’.  In that discussion I summarized what I’d learned from my research about loglines, and illustrated how they may be of different lengths and levels of development, depending on what’s required.  Now I’m digging a little deeper to explore how to write more effective loglines and also how to use them as a tool for looking objectively at a novel — which, among other things, can make it far easier to tackle writing a query letter and a synopsis.

While revisiting the subject of loglines due to the upcoming Baker’s Dozen auction at Miss Snark’s First Victim, I’ve learned some new things that I feel have given me a greater insight into what makes a compelling logline that will grab a reader’s attention. This is mostly thanks to Holly Bodger, aka ‘The Logline Guru’.  In the past few years Holly has imparted her wisdom about loglines at MSFV, both generously offering her comments on all the logline critique rounds and sharing her thoughts in a number of posts about the problems she sees in the participants’ entries.

In her basic guidelines for composing a logline, Holly gives this formula: “When [MAIN CHARACTER] [INCITING INCIDENT], he [CONFLICT].  And if he doesn’t [GOAL] he will [CONSEQUENCES].”  While this exact order may not be what works best for every story, Holly also stresses that “loglines are stronger when they come in the order that has the greatest effect“.  In any case, the capitalized components all need to be included.  And in critiquing loglines it sometimes seems that the best advice is to suggest that the writer go back to the drawing board and use that formula to figure out exactly what those components are in their own book.

Frankly, we often see attempts at loglines that are disjointed and vague and that don’t convey the central arc of the story, as well as leaving out fundamental elements such as the stakes or the goal.  On top of that, composing a logline may illuminate a problem in the manuscript itself.  As Holly says, “If you cannot make your story fit into the required elements of a logline, then maybe you need to re-think whether or not your story has the required elements.”

Not surprisingly, the problems that crop up in loglines are the same issues that also plague many valiant attempts at writing a query. I can’t seem to find the source right now, but I believe Holly recently wrote about how you can take a logline and then flesh out each of the elements in order to construct an effective query.  And I confess I’ve spent a great deal of time in the past five years or so learning everything I can about queries, including reading countless query critiques and doing some critiquing on a couple of different forums.  (I’m sure it may seem a bit crazy to non-writers that we’re all so obsessed with queries, but I suppose it’s inevitable that we end up viewing them as the ‘magic key’ that opens the door to the world of publishing, seeing as they’re required by virtually all agents and by most publishers that accept unagented submissions.)

Last week I was perusing some queries posted for critique, and I found myself thinking that creating a solid logline first, and then building the query onto that framework, really seems like an awfully good idea.  Because one of the major battles I see query writers dealing with is finding that elusive balance between not including enough information and enough specific details to make their story stand out, and including too much information so it’s an overwhelming jumble, full of names and details about subplots that neither contribute to conveying the main story arc nor show the real heart of the book.

Basically, it comes down to not being able to see what belongs in the query and what doesn’t.  Since I think the ‘logline first’ approach may really help in solving that problem, on next month’s blog post I’m going to try taking a logline and showing how a query can be built around it.  (We’ll have to see if I actually succeed!) 😉

The latest insight I’ve gotten from Holly Bodger relates to the internal vs. external story arc, and I think it’s pertinent in many ways when evaluating both loglines and queries — and even the manuscript itself.  I’d noticed that in her comments on loglines, Holly will sometimes ask a question like this: ‘Why does the MC have to be the one who does this thing, and why does she need to do it now?’  This puzzled me when I thought that the answer was apparent enough from the context within the logline.

For example, one story involved a skilled detective pursuing a murderer.  My thought was, ‘If you’re a detective, of course it’s your job to solve the mystery, and the need to find a killer is always urgent, since it’s not exactly something you just do when you get around to it!.’  So I asked Holly if she could clarify why she’d raised this question, and she explained it this way: “There must be a need present in the main character that drives them to pursue that particular goal. Otherwise, there is no internal arc.”  And she pointed out that in the case of that detective, the story would be much stronger if he weren’t simply being paid to solve the crime, but had some personal grievance or deeper motivation compelling him to solve it.

The reason she’ll ask ‘Why now?’ is that it isn’t clear where the story starts in terms of what emotional reason — something truly personal for the MC — has set the story in motion, rather than an inciting incident that’s purely external.  “A story that is only about the selfish need to survive can be done, but it’s never as engaging as one that has deeper motivation.  Also, when you add these extra motivations and give them timelines, you add a lot more tension to your novel because the reader knows the clock is ticking and not just for the main character.”  She summed up by saying, “Basically, in almost all my critiques, I am trying to get people to expose more of their internal arc (without losing the external one, of course!)”

I find this particularly interesting because one of the things I’ve struggled with is the fact that today’s standard formula for queries is best suited to books that are primarily plot-driven.  Consequently, it can seem quite daunting to figure out how to fit literary fiction into that formula.  And when I say ‘literary fiction’, I’m using Nathan Bransford’s definition that says that in literary fiction the plot tends to happen ‘beneath the surface’ rather than ‘above the surface’, and that “what is really important are the thoughts, desires, and motivations of the characters as well as the underlying social and cultural threads that act upon them.”  By that definition (as well as some others), all of my books are essentially literary fiction that also happens to be SF or fantasy.

And I’ve realized that we’ve all been conditioned to think that the external stuff that ‘happens’ is what a story is ‘about’, so we think that’s what has to go into the query — and the logline as well. The result is that we may end up both misrepresenting our stories and making it sound as if they’re missing something.  And I believe this focus on the external elements of the plot is one of the reasons that after hours of studying queries they all start to look the same and get downright dull — which makes me feel awfully sorry for literary agents, since I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if I had to read hundreds of queries every week!

But I’ll bet that nine times out of ten the personal element is actually in the book itself (even with stories that are more plot-driven), and it’s just not getting into the query. However, just as constructing a logline can reveal if any of the required elements are missing in the novel, when you start by trying to identify the character’s personal need, this may also uncover problems with the internal arc — it could be that the character hasn’t been fully developed and the story is too superficial.

I often say that the difference between telling stories around a campfire and creating literature is that in a good novel you’re not just telling a story, you’re recreating the experience of being human.  I also say that I find stories about finding one’s place in the universe far more interesting than stories about saving the universe.  So it makes perfect sense to me that showing part of that internal arc as well as the external one will make both loglines and queries more emotionally engaging and memorable.

The Clarion West Write-a-thon 2014

Once again it seems the Write-a-thon has come up awfully quickly. I haven’t had a chance to do much in the way of planning, as far as either writing goals or fundraising efforts. I have to admit it makes me feel better to see that a number of the other participating writers confess in their profiles that fundraising is not one of their better skills — I saw a couple of those confessions that were so refreshingly honest and charming that they made me laugh!

But it’s a bit depressing to be reminded that my Write-a-thon didn’t go very well last year, and particularly to realize that I’m still working on the project I’d hoped to complete then, even though I knew it was an ambitious goal. I’ve done other things in the meantime, of course, but I really want to get that novel completed, so I’m going to use it as my Write-a-thon project for 2014 as well.

However, I’m going to try approaching it a little differently this time. Instead of going by word counts, which many writers use to gauge their progress, I’ve decided I’m going to set a goal of six chapters, one per week. This is partly to keep the task from seeming too daunting (and the hope is that I will do more than meet my goal), and partly because it’s always been part of my novel-writing routine to work chapter by chapter.

It’s simply a way of using the old tried and true method of taking any large task and making it more manageable by breaking it down into chunks. Also, I find that when I get to the revision stage, it works well to polish a chapter at a time, looking at it not only as a part of the greater whole, but as a work that should be as cohesive and elegant as a good short story.

So we’ll see if I can at least get solid drafts of six chapters completed, and perhaps that will give me the momentum to complete the rest of the manuscript well before the end of the year. Hope springs eternal. 😉

Write Club — A Not-So-Serious Writing Contest

Recently I learned of a contest called Write Club. Unlike most other online writing contests that I’ve seen, this one is mostly just for fun, rather than designed to help connect authors with agents or editors. Apparently it’s been going on for at least several years, and has even been copied by others who’ve created similar contests.

The inspiration for the contest is Fight Club, so the rules are modeled on the Fight Club rules, which is rather cute. It even includes Rule Six: No shirt, no shoes. That’s a joke, of course (no one expects the authors to refrain from wearing a shirt or shoes while writing)! Though in my case, if that were an actual rule I’d already be partly in compliance; since I can’t stand wearing shoes in the house, I almost always write without shoes. 😉

I confess that although I’m definitely a Brad Pitt fan, I’m not really a big fan of that film. I saw it just once and while I didn’t dislike it, it’s not something I’d be interested in watching again. I suppose most people would say that the quintessential masculine version of a ‘chick flick’ is something like the Die Hard films, filled with intense action and things blowing up from the first moment to the last. But I might say that Fight Club is a more intellectual form of a ‘guy movie’; it certainly has a lot more depth, but I would guess it still tends to have more appeal for men than women.

Although I understand that the film is meant to have a fair amount of dark humor, I admit I still have a suspension of disbelief issue with the idea of someone being able to get into a bare-fisted boxing match with themselves, no matter what sort of split personality or other delusional disorder they might have! (It’s no surprise that the scene that shows this in the movie is so absurd that it becomes purely comical.) But I believe the real issue for me is that I generally dislike it when a writer — in this case, Chuck Palahniuk, the author of the novel the film is based on — has characters behave in an unrealistic manner or has something contrived happen in the plot solely for thematic reasons.

One becomes too conscious of the author’s deliberate efforts to illustrate the theme; it’s almost as if Palahniuk broke the ‘fourth wall’ and stepped into his book to make the point that men’s issues with their role models and their position in society causes then to be embroiled in a struggle with themselves, and the story just becomes a transparent vehicle for the message. Perhaps due partly to my obsession with realism, I find it more effective — and also a greater display of the writer’s skill — when a story feels very natural and believable, and the underlying themes are only apparent upon reflection, or even only upon rereading the book.

To get back to the Write Club contest, I’m curious about following it and seeing how it plays out. I would guess that in such a context the most competitive writing samples will be those with fairly accessible and immediate entertainment value, particularly humorous ones. But I would be pretty disappointed if the actual quality of the writing and the evident skill of the author weren’t also instrumental in determining the eventual winner.

On Flouting Conventions

I remember my oldest brother laughing about how he’d heard that there was an actual formula for Harlequin Romances, and each significant story element was supposed to happen on a specific page. So the moment when the heroine first meets the hero, when they first kiss, when they have their first misunderstanding, when they reconcile, etc., all had to happen on designated page numbers.  That was many years ago, and I don’t know where he came across that information or how accurate it was.  But even when the formulas involved are nowhere near that detailed, it seems that today there are many restrictive conventions and expectations when it comes to the structure of a work of fiction.

Some are blatant, like the idea that prologues and epilogues are strictly verboten, while others are not really talked about or even consciously recognized. When I discovered Miyazaki’s films (which I talked about here) I had an epiphany about ‘unconscious conventions’, because it made me realize how much American-made films fit into formulaic guidelines.  Why is it that foreign films usually have a different ‘feel’ that brands them as foreign more than the language difference?  It’s because they don’t follow the same conventions when it comes to everything from the perspective and the pacing to the inclusion of certain standardized elements.  So it can be something of an eye-opener when you realize how many other things can be done with film that American filmmakers simply never do.

For instance, we have an unwritten convention that animation is for children’s stories and comic adventures. With the possible exception of an occasional film that would be considered avant garde or ‘artsy’, no one here would do a contemporary drama in animation. That rule certainly isn’t present in Japanese film-making; Wishes of the Heart is one example, and I’ve also seen another animated film put out by Miyazaki’s Studio Ghibli that’s a realistic contemporary romance (it’s essentially an ordinary ‘chick flick’).  And I’ve realized that even when people rave about an American movie and say how much it surprised them and was ‘different’, when you really take a good hard look at such a film, you’ll see that it still follows most of Hollywood’s unwritten rules.

Similar kinds of rules appear to apply to novels, especially when it comes to genre fiction. (It seems that authors can be much more daring in literary fiction.)   I find it a bit frustrating that agents and editors are constantly saying they want something different — something new and surprising — while the evidence suggests that they’re afraid to take on anything that doesn’t fit neatly into a tried and true mold.  For instance, when authors actually do get feedback on a rejected manuscript, they may be told that although the material is good, it’s too much of a risk specifically because of the elements that make it ‘different’.  It’s as if what publishers really want is just enough of a twist on a well-known concept to create the impression of something fresh and exciting on the surface, but they still want everything else about the book to follow the standard formulas.

Now clearly when we’re talking about some genres — the prime example being Romance with a capital ‘R’ — readers really do want books to follow the rules; part of the reason you read a Romance or a Cozy Mystery (or a children’s picture book, for that matter) is because you want the reading experience to be very comfortable and familiar.  But overall I think we’ve gone too far with developing phantom limitations in fiction and creating an environment in which too many of the books being published are quite similar to each other.  It’s rather like some types of popular music that aren’t very memorable because all the songs start to sound the same.

A couple of years ago I beta read a fantasy novel with some distinctive elements that I liked (which was why I volunteered to read the manuscript). The overall storyline was predictable and had several things in common with Harry Potter; the protagonist discovered to her surprise that she had magical abilities that were greater than everyone else’s, and the book culminated in a huge battle that ended with the heroine sacrificing herself, only to be saved at the last minute.  While the manuscript had a number of youthful errors, it certainly had potential, and my feeling was that once it was tidied up it would be almost guaranteed to sell — because it did fit all the formulas and was easy to envision as a movie.  But in retrospect, it was ironic that the very things that made me confident that the author could probably get an agent to take it on also meant that the story would have had far more emotional impact for me if it hadn’t been so predictable — I would have preferred the story to be more intimate in scope and to not have the heroine be any sort of ‘chosen one’.

Finding the right balance between creating something unique and memorable and meeting expectations can involve treading a fine line. My writing buddy, Mary Johnson, did an excellent post about the trust between authors and readers, and the problems with violating that trust, and I couldn’t resist jumping in and writing some lengthy comments.  One of the things I talked about with regard to my own experiences as a reader was that, while it’s fair to say that an author shouldn’t cause a reader to expect a certain kind of story and then deliver something different, sometimes what the reader ‘wants’ isn’t really the best thing for the story — and upon reflection, the reader may see how the thing that didn’t fit with their expectations benefitted that story.

The examples I mentioned on Mary’s blog include some of Le Guin’s novels, such as Eye of the Heron. I felt the structure of that novel was setting up for a romance, but the romance never materialized because (spoiler alert!) one of the two main POV characters didn’t survive.  Obviously, crappy things like that happen in real life all the time.  So if you’re writing a serious, realistic novel — rather than a comfortable, formulaic Romance with a guaranteed HEA ending — doing something like that may mean breaking your readers’ hearts.  However, in cases like that, I don’t think it’s right to say that the novel itself is flawed because it violates the reader’s trust.  In many ways, whether or not it works — and actually makes the book stronger — comes down to both who your audience is and how the unexpected elements are handled.

Sophisticated adult readers can take being challenged, surprised, dismayed, and yes, even, heartbroken. In contrast, the last Harry Potter book is seriously flawed because (on top of having problems with the voice and being woefully in need of editing), it’s part of a fantasy series for young readers — not a standalone novel for adults — and the author violated crucial ‘rules’ that she herself had created for the series.  For instance, one of the most obvious violations is simply that you cannot say you’re doing a seven-book series about a boy going to a seven-year wizard school, with each book taking place during one school year, and then have the hero drop out and not even go to school in the last year!  (I’m still absolutely floored that the editors allowed such a thing — not only does it make no sense whatsoever it terms of the structure of the series, one might even say that it suggests to kids that it’s fine to drop out of school.)

So there’s no question that there’s a time and a place for following rules and sticking to certain structural elements. But outside of those situations, authors should be free to expand on the possibilities of a novel and not feel bound to make the storyline fit into a particular framework.  Le Guin’s ‘depressingly realistic’ plots, as I sometimes call them, are examples of how a story can have a more meaningful and lasting impact on the reader because the author has taken advantage of that freedom to create a storyline with greater realism and, consequently, even greater emotional depth.

One convention that we usually don’t question (or even think about), is having the POV characters be the survivors of the adventure or crisis in the story, while relegating those who do not survive to being secondary characters and tragic figures who impact the protagonist because of their loss.  This is why we’re shocked when Le Guin ‘kills off’ major POV characters — and why some readers might even feel that she betrayed our expectations by doing so.

But even when we don’t dehumanize ‘non-survivors’ to the extent of the characters in horror movies who are there only to be victims, we often still discount them, at least on a certain level.  Perhaps it’s only natural to want to tell stories from the point of view of survivors, but it could also be argued that it’s not realistic; those who become victims of senseless tragedies are significant human beings as much as anyone else, and their experiences are just as valid.  So when Le Guin writes novels in which much of the story takes place in the mind of a character who dies (such as Eye of the Heron, Word for World is Forest, and Left Hand of Darkness), those books challenge that shortcoming and give those people a voice, too.

In my comments on Mary’s blog, I also talked about my novel, In the Shadow of the She-Wolf.  Now maybe I’m still following the convention in She-Wolf when I say that, because of what happens to her, the only way I can tell Omalda’s story is to tell her son’s story (though there’s more to it than that).  But I also endeavored to truly include Omalda’s voice, both in the opening chapters and — in a different way — at the very end of the novel.  Still, when it comes to reader expectations, I know that some people may strenuously object to bonding with one character in the opening chapters of the book only to jump ahead a number of years to a different character.

A Canticle for Leibowitz is a well-known example of a book that jumps ahead (a great many years, in this case!) leaving behind the characters the reader has bonded with, since it’s really three shorter stories linked together, rather than one novel in the traditional sense.  (One does have to wonder if it would be difficult for a new writer to publish something like that today, at least in genre fiction — certainly that would be more likely to fly if it were literary fiction.)  And I confess that as a reader I initially felt a pang of disappointment upon discovering that Brother Francis wasn’t the protagonist of the entire book, since Miller certainly makes his readers develop a strong bond with that character.  But when you look at the book as a whole and you understand the author’s purpose, an adult reader can accept that disappointment as a necessary part of the journey the author is taking them on.  So this is another good example of how ‘drawing outside the lines’ can allow the writer to create something that has a greater impact.

I stumbled upon an essay written a few years back by Romance writer Jennifer Crusie called “A Writer Without A Publisher Is Like A Fish Without a Bicycle: Writer’s Liberation and You”. In this amusing but astute essay, she compares frantically trying to get published to being desperate to get married.  She points out that desperation and frustration are always off-putting, especially when it involves no longer being true to yourself because you’re trying to fit into some mold that represents what you think will please others the most.  So while Ms. Crusie doesn’t mean that one shouldn’t pursue either marriage or publication, she explains why seeing those things as your primary goal is problematic, because being genuine — in both relationships and writing books — has to come first.

And it seems particularly enlightening that this is coming from an author who writes in the genre that probably has the most rules that really must be followed to make readers happy, such as the requisite HEA ending (even if there isn’t really a formula for what happens on which page number!).  But she makes it clear that even within that framework, there should be as much flexibility and freedom as possible, so the author’s individuality can shine through: “When we deny our voices and our visions to write what is popular and publishable, we’re making ourselves into lemmings, indistinguishable from the crowd. When we write the stories that only we can write, those stories become different, interesting, and rare, and editors become more inclined to dig a wider hole.”

So I think we have to stress that no matter what genre they’re writing in, writers should never get themselves all tied up in knots worrying about rules and conventions; the important thing is to write the book that you love, in the way you want to write it, feeling free to explore different ways of structuring the story to express the ideas and experiences you’re striving to capture in that story. The more genuine a book is and the more the author puts their heart and soul into it, the more likely it is that others will be truly moved by reading it, and that the book will offer a meaningful experience that will linger with them long afterwards.

Genre Definition Revisited: Thoughts on Science Fantasy

It’s occurred to me that my current WIP, The Heart of Elebfar, might be labeled as ‘science fantasy’. Since the entire story takes place on one exotic world, it technically also fits the definition of a ‘planetary romance’ — although it’s certainly not ‘space opera’! But ‘science fantasy’, like many subgenre classifications, can be a bit nebulous, as it essentially just means something that combines elements of both science fiction and fantasy.

Some say science fantasy is fantasy ‘dressed up’ as science fiction, while others say it’s science fiction that includes fantastic elements that are not explained via science. But I think that brings up the question of how much of the science in science fiction is truly explained. It seems that, even in a lot of hard SF, the essence of it is about speculating that a certain premise might be scientifically plausible — either in the future or on another world — more than it is about trying to explain just how it might be plausible.

And if we’re talking about social science fiction, it’s accepted that future technologies or alternate biological conditions may be an essential part of the foundation of the story, but no one expects the author to spend time exploring how those things might actually come about. What’s important is how they would affect human society and the lives of individual humans in that society (as discussed in my previous post about the definition of SF).

One book often named as an example of science fantasy is Gene Wolfe‘s Book of the New Sun. Wolfe incorporates a staggering array of concepts into his works, including many that are never explained and that might seem ‘magical’, and the medieval aspects of the setting and culture of New Sun do lend themselves to a fantasy classification. But as you experience the depth of the world and find references to it being a far-in-the-future earth, the SF elements become more and more apparent. And to me, Wolfe’s other brilliant four-volume novel, The Book of the Long Sun, has far more of science fiction about it than fantasy; I’d say it has a distinctly SF ‘flavor’.

Yes, in Long Sun there’s a character who seems to be a ghost, and another who’s a kind of alien vampire. But I’m left with a strong feeling that just because these things are not explained, it doesn’t mean there isn’t an explanation. What’s more, the books take place on a generation starship, and the androids, vehicles, weapons, etc., (not to mention the way the uneducated people see the figures appearing through some kind of computer monitors as gods) all scream SF to me. So I would argue that this is SF that may contain fantasy elements — and the things that seem fantastical might not be what they seem.

And when I think about Heart of Elebfar — both the story and the world it’s set in — it seems logical enough to simply call it science fiction. There’s no magic, and I see nothing that happens in the book as truly supernatural. Nevertheless, what some might consider ‘fantastic’ are several elements that venture into the realm of the ‘New-Agey’: Reiki-type healing, the idea that gemstones (‘crystals’) could hold and/or help focus energy, and the occurrence of a life-form made from a kind of volcanic stone rather than organic material. There’s also one character who seems to have some kind of psychic abilities — he has visions of things happening in another place or time. But again, although I don’t make any attempt to explain these things, I feel that on this world there is a scientific explanation for them.

Now I suppose we could follow this to the conclusion that on any world in which magic is real, the laws of nature and physics could be different there, so the magic becomes scientifically possible — and is therefore no longer ‘magic’. But I think an important part of what makes a story fantasy has to do with that ‘flavor’, as well as to intent: when it comes to pure fantasy, it’s the author’s intent and the reader’s wish that there be no explanation other than one word: magic. And they would no more want to question that than a child would want to question how Santa Claus can actually get all those presents down the chimney.

One might speculate that Gene Wolfe, being Catholic, subscribes to the belief that there are some very important things that we can’t see or ‘prove’, and that perspective might color his world-building. My own perspective is different since I was raised on science, but I believe one of the best things I gained from that upbringing is an understanding of the importance of keeping an open mind. That includes being open to the idea that there could be real things we have no concept of — and if we saw them, we might interpret them as impossible and ‘magical’, just as our ancestors would have viewed jets and DVD players. So it’s a bit like reaching the same place by taking a different road; rather than having faith in things that can’t be proven, it’s understanding that there may always be something that hasn’t been proven — or discovered — yet. These things might be possible either through unanticipated advances in technology, or through finding other worlds where what we assumed were scientific ‘laws’ are a bit different than they are on this little planet. How can we know otherwise?

And we mustn’t forget that some of the science we were taught as children has since been revised. (Though I have a hard time getting used to the idea that Pluto isn’t a planet, I love knowing dinosaurs were close relatives of birds, and I affectionately call my pet chickens and ducks velociraptors and hadrosaurs.:)) New ideas surface all the time — that’s the nature of science. I’ve seen several programs addressing string theory, though not one of them explained anything beyond a very abstract image of interconnected vibrations, and some confusing conclusions about numbers of dimensions. But some serious physicists have been expending a lot of time and energy exploring this theory, even if others might consider it downright silly.

While I’ll readily admit that much of the talk about crystals having healing energies and such sounds pretty silly, this is an indisputable fact: what looks like a perfectly ordinary rock can be so poisonous that touching it can be fatal. (And, as I understand it, you can even touch that rock and then go touch someone else and make them ill, too.) If something that sounds so fantastic is true, perhaps there could be rocks and minerals in the universe that contain elements with properties we don’t know about yet. So why couldn’t they hold or conduct different kinds of energies, or perhaps even form a different kind of life?

Indeed, these things may be more plausible than Mr. Wolfe’s ‘ghosts’ and ‘vampires’. And since I still think The Book of the Long Sun is better described as SF than fantasy, there seems no good reason to say The Heart of Elebfar isn’t SF, too. Surely the fact that in T.H.O.E. the planet orbits an eclipsing binary star, which results in there being different kinds of daylight depending on the position of the two stars, is an SF premise concerning astrophysics? And doesn’t the fact that I’m exploring the idea that there could be a non-organic life form mean I’m speculating about biology, chemistry, and geology?

So let’s say that we can argue that two of the elements in the story that might seem mystical are actually scientific speculations about the properties of rocks and minerals. And although I’m not aware of any study that has proven that tangible energy can be transferred from one person to another, no one with bona fide medical knowledge would deny that the mind plays an enormous role in the well-being of the body, and the psychological impact of shared physical contact is certainly proven.

That only leaves Farro, the ‘seer’ character. And to me, that unexplained aspect of his character is like one of my favorite things in Le Guin’s The Telling, a book I’m certain qualifies as straight-up social SF. There’s a little mystery that’s referred to in the very last line: “Footsteps on the air.” It’s never explained. But it doesn’t need to be. We can let it stand as a reminder that we should always keep an open mind — in science, in art, and in life.

Contests, Critiques, and the Joys of Loglines

I’ve recently discovered a number of fun contests designed to give authors a different way to get their pitch — and hopefully their manuscript itself — seen by agents.  (One good source for learning about upcoming contests is the Sub It Club.)  The gals who run these contests certainly deserve kudos for all the hard work they put in, and it’s nice to see that it looks like they usually have a lot of fun doing it, too.

It’s something I’d like to consider doing myself down the road — though I’ll probably want to enlist the help of someone more computer and web savvy to help with the logistics.  And speaking of logistics, I’ve learned a lot about loglines in the past few weeks, thanks to all the great information at Miss Snark’s First Victim, a delightful site with lots of resources for writers, as well as great contests, including the monthly ‘Secret Agent’ contest.  (And there’s quite a few success stories posted on the site, showing that the process really does work to connect writers and agents.)

One of the challenging things about writing loglines — which are required for entry in many of these contests — is that there are so many different definitions floating around as to just what a logline is and how long it should be.  My conclusion is that the answer depends on who’s asking for the logline, and what they’re looking for.  Some people want a logline that’s no more than 25 words, while the logline critiques at Miss Snarks’s First Victim permit up to 100 words (although they stress that shorter is better).  And the Halloween-themed Trick or Treat with an Agent Contest going on this week asks writers for a three-sentence pitch, with no word count restriction.

So my recommendation is to prepare several loglines of different lengths.  This is an excellent exercise anyway, and can help with writing queries as well.  Then you just have to carefully read the instructions for any contest or critique session you want to participate in, and make sure you submit the pitch that fulfills their requirements.

Now, in case this is helpful to anyone else, I’m going to use the novel I’m querying as a guinea pig, and show some examples of different loglines for the same book.  In some ways this is like the Snowflake Method of novel outlining.  Or perhaps it’s like peeling an onion — you start on the surface and go down through the layers, adding more and more detail as you add more words.  But no matter what the length, the logline or pitch should be enticing — and never confusing.  (Alas, most of us find that accomplishing this is much easier said than done!)

10 words: A young man who’s an outcast struggles to find acceptance.    (This is the extreme end of ‘concise’, and more of an exercise than a logline — there’s definitely not enough detail here for any kind of pitch contest!  Notice that it could describe a million different stories.)

22 words: A young man who’s the only one of his race in an isolated village on a planetary colony struggles to find acceptance.  (This is more like a TV guide blurb.  Like the first, it could apply to a lot of stories, but it narrows it down a touch by adding some details — for instance, now we know it’s science fiction.)

46 words: A young man who’s the only one of his race in an isolated village struggles to find acceptance.  After demonstrating his skill with a bow gives the villagers an excuse to perceive him as a threat, the arrival of a stranger puts his life in danger.   (This is one I toyed with briefly — notice that it leaves out the fact that this takes place on a planetary colony, which might be problematic since it’s not obvious this is SF.  The ending — the part about the stranger’s arrival putting him in danger — is also a bit vague.)

61 words: On a small planetary colony, a young man comes of age while struggling to find acceptance in an isolated arctic village where he’s the only one of his race.   When he’s blamed for the murder of two elders, staying alive may mean fleeing the village to seek his own people–people he knows only from tales of their arrogance and cruelty.  (This one is better because it gives the specific reason his life is in danger — he’s been accused of murder — and adds more detail that shows how the villagers view the people of his race, which (hopefully!) explains why they would have trouble accepting him.)

65 words: On a small planetary colony, a young man struggles to find acceptance in an isolated arctic village where he’s the only one of his race, but demonstrating his prowess with a bow only gives the villagers another excuse to perceive him as a threat, and when he’s blamed for the murder of two elders, he may have to leave everything he knows to stay alive.   (Another variation that shifts the focus a little, showing one of the ways he tries to win approval, and how it backfires.  I was concerned that this was important to avoid making the character seem like a passive victim — he’s actually very strong-willed and stubborn, and the way he spends several years teaching himself to become the best archer in the village is one of the important ‘coming of age’ elements in the novel.  But you can see how it’s hard to squeeze something like that into a logline.) 

67 words: Growing up in an isolated arctic village where he’s the only one of his race, Jem is shunned by nearly everyone.  His skill with a bow brings him confidence and pride–and more distrust from the villagers.  When he’s blamed for the murder of two elders, survival may mean leaving to seek the people he knows only from tales of their arrogance and cruelty.   (Another variation, using the MC’s name this time — which is often preferable, because it makes it more intimate.  However, this also leaves out the planetary colony reference.)

76 words: Born in an isolated arctic village on a small planetary colony, Jem has never met anyone of his own race — the arrogant people from an advanced starfaring civilization who banished the original colonists to the harsh settlement.  Jem struggles to be accepted, but demonstrating his skill with a bow gives the villagers another excuse to distrust him.  When he’s blamed for the murder of two elders, survival may mean seeking a new life among the feared invaders.  (This is my three-sentence pitch, which uses a different angle to provide more detail on Jem’s own people and the socio-political situation.)    

I have other versions that go up to 89 words, but I think that’s a bit long for a logline — at least for any of the contests I’ve seen — so I’ll stop there.  Please understand that I’m not claiming that any of these are brilliant — I’m still working on crafting better ones — but I hope that showing the ‘anatomy of a logline’ will be helpful to others who are struggling through the same process.

 

A Misguided Definition of Science Fiction — And Why I’m Proud to Write ‘Girly SF’

There’s been a lot of discussion this week about Paul Cook’s post at Amazing Stories, in which he pontificates on why a lot of science fiction actually isn’t science fiction.  I just read a great post summarizing much of this discussion on Cora Buhlert’s blog.  While I agree, as most do, that Mr. Cook has every right to his own opinion, I also agree that the manner in which he expressed it was offensive.

Whether or not it was unintentional, the article does come across as sexist, and as a big Gene Wolfe fan, Paul Cook’s disparaging attitude toward Wolfe’s work certainly didn’t impress me either.  (He also made the error of claiming that Wolfe’s brilliant tetralogy, The Book of the New Sun, shows the influence of Orson Scott Card, when Card’s work actually came after New Sun.)

One line in Cora Buhlert’s blog post about the reactions to Paul Cook’s discourse particularly struck a chord with me.  While discussing the prejudice against human relationships — both emotional and physical — and the apparent distaste for the human body itself in much hard SF, she remarks about the “dearth of sex, childbirth and descriptions of food” in science fiction.  This made me think of several things I find significant.

The first is that this is similar to what Ursula K. Le Guin was talking about in her essay, “Science Fiction and Mrs. Brown”.  (I just looked at my copy of The Language of the Night, and it says that essay was written in 1976 — which would suggest that some things haven’t changed much in nearly forty years.)  In turn, recalling that essay brought to mind Vonda N. McIntyre’s Starfarers.  There’s actually a character in Starfarers whose name is Mrs. Brown — an elderly woman who epitomizes just the sort of character you wouldn’t expect to find on a starship — and I’ve wondered if that’s a coincidence or a deliberate homage to Le Guin’s essay.

In any case, per Le Guin’s definition, the four books in McIntyre’s Starfarers Quartet feature plenty of ‘Mrs. Browns’.  That is, well-rounded human characters — the kind of characters who have realistic human experiences during their journeys.  But Starfarers still qualifies as hard SF — I’ve often seen it labeled that way, and it was reviewed on a site that goes by that name.  Of course it’s about space exploration, and biology is one of the sciences McIntyre explores a great deal in this book — which is not surprising since she has a ‘real life’ background in biology and genetics.  And these ‘natural sciences’ are considered ‘hard’ sciences. (Although I’ve seen one definition of hard vs. soft science that describes biology as ‘intermediate’, for what it’s worth.)

I’ve read reviews of Starfarers that complain that the story moves too slowly because of the heavy focus on familial relationships and politics.  But all that time spent showing the human relationships and their true-to-life aspects — not only passionate kisses and tender backrubs, but the little things people share that enrich life, like the enjoyment of tea, smoked salmon, and silk shirts — is probably what I like best about the book.  (Okay, that and the fact that there’s a herd of miniature horses running around in the fields on the ship!)

When naming books that one might compare to my own SF novel, In the Shadow of the She-Wolf, McIntyre’s Starfarers Quartet comes to mind largely because of the way the relationships and their life-like details are at the forefront of the story.  In particular, some might see similarities in the third volume of She-Wolf, where much of it takes place onboard a ship and the conflicts also involve family relationships and politics.  (And come to think of it, although there isn’t much sex in She-Wolf, I doubt anyone could find it lacking when it comes to childbirth and descriptions of food.) 😉

Incidentally, I suppose it’s a natural part of my obsession with realism that as a reader — and, consequently, as a writer too — I love the inclusion of passages about food.  In the very first version of the manuscript that eventually evolved into She-Wolf, my favorite scene was the one I called ‘the food scene’.  A trillion drafts and a gazillion years later, I still love that scene.  The aspect of culture shock that involves strange foods can be humorous as well as uncomfortable; while illustrating one of the fundamental difficulties of adapting to a new culture, it also provides fodder for comic relief.  (There’s another dining scene in the final volume of She-Wolf that facilitates one of my favorite lines of dialogue in the novel: “Well, we’ve sure opened a mess of worms, but they haint in your lunch.”)

Of course, according to Paul Cook, everything I write is ‘girly SF’.  Unlike McIntyre, I have no training in hard sciences — I studied anthropology instead.  Sociological science fiction is ‘Soft SF’ by definition, because the sciences involved are those that are defined as ‘soft’: anthropology, psychology, political science, etc.  In the Shadow of the She-Wolf focuses on all of these, and I would readily describe it as a very ‘psychological’ novel; for example, the experience of culture shock features very prominently in the book.

In She-Wolf, the high-tech culture uses FTL travel and an extremely powerful kind of ‘directed energy’ weapon.  But these elements function — as is typical in sociological SF — as a backdrop to the story, and  I don’t profess to have any clever theories about how these technologies might work.  I can say that the concept of the weapon is very loosely based on an article I read about new ideas for weapons the military is working on, and that, unlike many SF weapons, it’s definitely not a laser; I visualize this ‘directed energy’ as something more like a captured lightning bolt.  Only, you know . . .  different.  (And if you want to know what this weapon does, you’ll just have to read the book.) 🙂

There’s another thing that lamenting the ‘dearth of sex, childbirth and descriptions of food in SF’ made me think of, and it’s nothing less than a big part of what inspired me to want to write my own books to begin with.  As I mention in my bio here, by the time I started my first novel at age eleven, I knew I wanted to tell stories in which fantastic things happen (whether they involve magic and dragons, or travelling to mysterious planets filled with alternative life forms), yet I wanted to tell them in the way that my favorite ‘real life’ stories were told, with those little intimate details that make a reader feel like they’re actually there, experiencing each moment themselves.

To me, this is what makes the difference between just being told a story about someone else — and perhaps being introduced to an interesting idea or two — and being drawn into a story that enriches you in a way you’ll never forget, leaving you with the feeling you’ve travelled to another world yourself.   Without the human element — yes, all that pesky business about sex, childbirth, and food — you won’t make the trip.  That other world will remain distant and abstract; it will just be a ‘fantasy’.

If Paul Cook can say that SF that strives to recreate the human experience — complete with all the messy stuff — is fantasy or romance and not real SF, I shall assert my own opinion that, au contraire, it’s the kind of SF that’s the most real.  And while Mr. Cook can extol the virtues of his macho ‘sciency’ SF, I’ll keep my ‘girly SF’, thank you very much!

Write-a-thon 2013 Week Six

Here’s one of the upsides of seeing one’s style change with maturity and experience: because some tough things in life got in the way and this year’s Write-a-thon didn’t work out as I’d planned, I thought that coming back to my current WIP (the one I’d intended to try to complete in the past six weeks) might be difficult.  But I was pleasantly surprised that when I looked at it immediately after working on the earlier manuscript, it was clear that all that experience is showing; it was actually uplifting to see how much of the first draft material is quite strong already.

I could probably say I was raised to be a ‘lit snob’.  As a small child I’d look at the books my parents were reading — by authors like Virginia Woolf and Loren Eiseley — and think that that’s what you aim for: that’s how real, classy adults write.  Though I was used to almost everything I wrote receiving high praise from teachers and other adults, it was frustrating when I could see for myself that my own writing just wasn’t that sophisticated — and I really wanted to be sophisticated.

So it gives me a warm, solid feeling to have reached a level in my craft where the words that come to me naturally sound ‘grown-up’ — even by my admittedly high standards.  There may always be times when getting a particular passage to capture exactly what I’m trying to convey is a challenge — that’s part of the fun of it, after all — but there’s no doubt in my mind that I have all the tools now.  I know how to do what I’m trying to do, and as long as I put the time in, I can get it done.

Of course I’ll never stop pushing myself to write better and better.  But even if my writing isn’t as brilliant (yet!) as the work of the authors I most admire, I doubt anyone would consider me delusional for comparing myself to them.  If I’m not quite in the same league, I’ve definitely made it into the ballpark, and the work I’m producing appears to come from a writer who’s pretty skilled — perhaps even a bit sophisticated. 😉

Write-a-thon 2013 Week Five

When asked in an interview how you know when your manuscript is submission-ready, agent Eddie Schneider said, “If you’ve edited to the point where you feel like you’re just pushing words around and your eyes are going to melt out of your skull and pool between the lines, you’re getting close.”

That would be a pretty good description of the state I’m in with regards to most of the novel I’m polishing up (with the possible exception of the new material added to the last draft). There are sections of In the Shadow of the She-Wolf that I’ve poured over so many times I have them memorized.  Although of course Mr. Schneider is right about the importance of thoroughly polishing a manuscript, I would never recommend that anyone put as many hours of their life into one book as I have with this one.

This book is one of the reasons I feel strongly about the importance of writing a novel fairly rapidly — at least, getting down the entire first draft within a few months, if possible.  In fact, I might say the best scenario would be to write a complete draft in a month or so, and then to not look at it for six months, or even a year.  That way you have both the cohesiveness in the creative process and the distance to look at it with true objectivity when you’re ready to revise.

In the case of She-Wolf, the first germinal draft actually was written in about a month — and I was quite pleased with my accomplishment at the time.  I was seventeen going on eighteen, and it was my third attempt at a novel; I’d spent more than five years completing two drafts of the first one, and the second fizzled out shortly before I reached the end.  So writing an entire novel in one month — even a short novel — seemed pretty cool to me.   But after my happy little manuscript elicited some pretty strong criticism from the person who has since become my best (and pickiest) beta reader, it was obvious the book needed a lot more work to realize its potential, and the project was launched into a recurring cycle that became a drawn-out ordeal.

In short, my extensive experience with doing it ‘the wrong way’ comes from having worked on the same book on and off for a staggering number of years. One of the big problems with this, especially if you start the process at a tender age, is that your style is inevitably going to change as you mature as a writer.  So if you were to keep taking out the same manuscript every two or three years and revising it to put it into your current style, you could — theoretically — spend your entire life writing only one book.

So I’ve decided that a writer has to be like a painter who may have gone through a stage where they were influenced by Impressionism, or Cubism, or had a ‘blue phase’ or a ‘floral phase’, but then moved on to working in a different style.  That is, even if your earlier works are not the kind of thing you’d do now, you can be content with them, seeing them as representing that particular phase in your career, while going on to do something else.

And that’s what I’m trying to keep in mind as I do these final revisions — I need to think of it almost as if I were editing someone else’s book.  I can polish it and make it the best it can be, but I need to respect — and not try to change — the style itself.  If I don’t, I’ll keep rewriting it forever.

A much earlier draft of this novel was actually critiqued by Virginia Kidd (who was my dream agent when I first ventured into the world of querying, since she repped both of my favorite authors).  I was in my twenties at the time, and it’s rather embarrassing to recall some of the more adolescent elements of the plot in that version. Not surprisingly, Ms. Kidd found enough serious problems with the manuscript — such as those shaky aspects of the plot — to conclude it wasn’t ready.

But she did something wonderful that agents rarely do today — she wrote a detailed summary of the entire novel, explaining what she did and didn’t like.  And my embarrassment over the awkward bits in the manuscript was tempered by the fact that she practically gushed over the writing, and asked to see either a revision or my next work.  (I suppose my greatest claim to fame is being able to say that Virginia Kidd said I was “very talented”.  The underlining is hers, too.  Thinking of that still gives me the warm fuzzies.)

Regrettably, though I had a lot of other things in progress, I had nothing else completed — and it was a couple of years later when I had the epiphany for how to completely rewrite the book.  I’d like to think that Ms. Kidd would have liked the novel it eventually evolved into, as I believe I thoroughly addressed all the weaknesses she had concerns with, and the writing, being that much more mature, is even better.

The difficulty is that the big rewrite, which essentially changed it into a different book, added a significant over-arching plotline that gave the story far more depth — and length.  By the time my most demanding beta said that it ‘felt like a real book’, it was more than twice the length preferred by most publishers today.

Splitting the novel into three volumes necessitated making additions to the first part — hence the new material that hasn’t been poured over countless times like the rest of it.  As it’s a three-part novel, not a series, I would never use the boilerplate phrase ‘stand-alone book with series potential’, but volume one ends at a significant turning point in the protagonist’s life, with a corresponding sense of resolution; there’s clearly more to come, but no one’s left dangling from a cliff.  And although I’m aware of the challenges of selling a three-volume novel, I think I have a lot of reasons to be proud of this book — in spite of its agonizingly long history.  (Not to mention all those pages where my eyes have pooled between the lines . . . )